generalflirt | ~♥THIRTY-SIX♥~

I won't.

[She abruptly stands to her feet and turns to go off a few paces with her back to him, wrapping her arms around herself for comfort.

She doesn't cry. Not yet. But she probably should be. She feels stripped and raw, too in shock to even react.]

Edited 2012-07-13 21:42 (UTC)

He did say it! Word for word, "Katara is Katara!" [His tone is raw. He doesn't stand.

Don't go, don't leave me.

Why is he pressing this, again? It's only the truth, don't leave me.]

What makes you think he doesn't think that?! I bet he does! I bet he just sees you as confused, not there yet! He told me you weren't dating yet, Katara!

[Why am is he saying this? I have to say this, she had to understand.

The terror gripping his heart. His concern for her. His pain knowing that her best interests are being trampled over. His voice is a mess, his face is probably still wet from his own tears. He probably sounds as scared as he is]

I'm worried about you! Aang-kun is kind, he isn't cruel, he isn't deceptive, but ignorance causes pain too!

Edited 2012-07-13 21:51 (UTC)

[Every word ripped into her. She didn't need this, she didn't want to hear this - on top of everything else? Fears about Amon's arrival, decisions about bloodbending, Ikki, Jinora, Korra - her future. Aang's death.

"I bet he does! I bet he just sees you as confused, not there yet! He told me you weren't dating yet, Katara!"

She whips around, tears finally starting to come to her eyes.]

Well, we're not! We're not dating yet! Where he comes from, we are, where I come from, we're not, and where Ikki comes from we've been married and have grandchildren! I won't believe he thinks that about me!

[That she was just some... error, some aberration.]

He said he was trying to protect my choice - why would he say that if he was just waiting for me to fall in line? He knows what happens when I get back home and when it does I have to believe that I choose him!

["Ignorance causes pain too!"

She knows. She knows it does. But she can bear that pain if it means protecting the people that she cares about.]

[Worth Noting: Linda is actually glaring at Katara now. Not that she thinks Katara will necessarily be a danger to her trainer, but her trainer's obviously hurting. They both are, obviously. But to her nothing matters more than her boy's well being and she's not sure if she should put a stop to this by stopping her or stopping him. She's sparking a little in her frustration.]

Because he's kind, Katara! [His voice is breaking. He's a mess. He must be a mess

The kindest person in the world is going to want things to fall their way, and if they've experienced it already, expect things to fall their way.]

What are you protecting?! Him?! You're not even looking at a choice, I know you're not! The only choice you've made is- ["to be miserable-" No. No, that's too harsh. EXHALE. BREATHE]

[He's panting, still crying, but he forces himself to say this in the calmest tone he can possibly manage]

This isn't about me, just so you know. This isn't even about him or those grandchildren or the future or your world or any of that. This is about you shouldering way more pain than is necessary. And you know it, and you think it's right, don't you.

Edited 2012-07-13 23:54 (UTC)

[This would be much easier to dismiss if it didn't echo so clearly what Sokka had spoken with her about.

"So you're trapped. Like Yue.

Your future has already been decided for who you'll marry. But it's not what you want. But you think you have to do it because of other people."

"Things are different here. And you can't protect him from that forever."

"I know that. But that doesn't mean that I'm not going to try."

Get it together, Katara. Look at him.

This isn't about you. Ha. Look at him.

Masaomi, I can't afford to make anything about me.

She slowly walks over to him and sits down across from him. If he'll let her, she'll even reach out to take his hand.]

I understand that you're concerned about me. This has been an awful lot and I won't deny that I feel... trapped. But I'm not going to make any decision about what Aang does or doesn't think about me without talking to him. I'm glad you told me this, even though your timing sucks and your delivery --

[Left a lot to be desired?

Ha, she can't be that casual.

(Why does she keep laughing, this isn't funny.)

She looks down, her throat clogged with emotion.]

-- I think you know you hurt me.

[She shuts her eyes and a tear streams down her cheek.]

I'm doing the only thing that I see that I can. This is just one part of life. More pain than necessary? How much pain is necessary to endure in order to protect the people you love?

[She opens her eyes and looks at him.]

However much is enough, right? I'm not saying this is a small part of my life--

[fresh tears fill her eyes]

--and I'm not saying that - that it's not important to me. But I won't be happy if my actions hurt the people I care about. I can't live with myself like that. I've been single for most of my life--

[she feels a sob try to work its way out of her throat; manifests it as a laugh. her lungs squeeze painfully and she has to drop her eyes again for a moment before she meets his own whiskey-shot gaze. She does love his eyes.]

--I can handle it a little longer.

[It takes everything, absolutely everything he has to keep looking at her through that entire speech. It takes everything he has to hold his tongue. Because... because what point is there at this point. She hears his points and ignores them. She doesn't want to consider the alternatives - no, maybe she does, and she just knows she can't have them.

This is about you, it has to be about you.

He pets Linda to pacify her and to focus himself. He pets her with his thumb on the free hand rubbing her ports, forcing her to stop charging them]

But no, as he meets her gaze at the end there, tears streaming down his face- Of course he let her take his hand. He doesn't smile, not yet. He can't smile just yet. But he's comforted by her touch, comforted by her gaze. he makes no effort to take her hand back though, despite letting her take his, until she finishes]

Speak...-speaking of timing. Assumption 10: If all this hadn't happened, if you were still unaware of Aang's feelings and the future - you and I would have been dating by now. I... I hope I would have managed to- ah, no. I would have managed to make you very happy. The us of that world would both be very happy.

[And now he he laughs, a mirthless, ironic sort of laugh]

"Fate" has never been that kind to us, has it?

Edited 2012-07-14 01:10 (UTC)

[Knowing it is one thing and hearing it out loud is something else.

Happy. Would they have been happy? Some - some clasp of control snaps over her heart and Katara presses her lips firmly together, but it doesn't do any good because they shake anyway and she shuts her eyes but the tears flow anyway and she just sobs.

She wants to be happy.

Quickly, she moved to reclaim her hand and cover her face as Katara just collapses into tears, like a puppet cut free of its strings.]

[...He can't just let it happen. Even if he's a wreck and he's crying too, saying it out loud gives him some sense of closure and purpose. While he lets her reclaim her hand, he's hardly content to just let her collapse in front of him doing nothing. He sits up a bit more and moves to put a steadying arm on her back

I'm sorry.]

[It's not a lie.

It's not an assumption.

She'd been so confused, so messed up after Tokyo because... yes. She'd wanted to say yes. She'd wanted him and she'd wanted to be with him. She didn't know if he was right, if he would have made her happy, or if they would have fought the whole time, or if her family's acceptance would have been too important or if she would have been too humiliated by his past behavior towards women to ever really relax and enjoy being with him, but--

Those were small concerns in the light of everything. In the light of knowing that she would have wanted to try.

She wanted to be happy.

She loved Aang. She truly and deeply loved him - this him as well as the him she remembered. She loved his consideration and his compassion and his sunny nature. She loved his stupid little marble trick and his intensity as he meditated and his determination to ride everything dangerous and inject life and fun into hopeless situations.

She loved him. And Masaomi was right - in enough time, she could easily be in love with him as well. But right now, knowing what she knows... the thought of capitulating to a preordained future did make her sick.

And right now, Sokka was right - all she felt was trapped.

And she wept.]

[His arm on her back remained. He patted her on the back still, also rubbing his hand on there, gently. He wants to tell her more stories: stories of all the dates he's imagined, of all the things he could have - would have done for her. But those fantasies would be too painful for either of them and frankly, in this moment it would be pointless.

So instead, he decides the back rub thing isn't enough. He shoos Linda out from under him and gets up a bit more to pull her into an awkward sort of hug. To hold her. If she would let him. Maybe he should apologize. He probably should]

[She lets him hold her, for a little while.

But her conscience is gradually creeping up on her again and she can't do this, she can't do this to him, and she can't do this to herself. It's not fair to either of them.

Just a moment more... and she makes herself pull away.]

I'm sorry.

[I'm sorry that I hurt you - I told you I didn't want to, I told you I would.

I'm sorry that I can make my choices, but I can't stop my emotions.

I'm sorry that this is the only thing I know how to do right now.

She wiped at her tears.]

[He wants to hold her longer. He really, really wants to hold her longer. But in the end, he lets her go with minimal resistance. He glances to see Linda now by the water's edge before looking back at her]

...Ah. No, I'm sorry. [A light pause, and then quieter, he quotes her:] "How much pain is necessary to endure in order to protect the people you love," and all. [Because that was his point, until Assumption 10. To Protect her. To Protect her happiness. Assumption 10 he knows was more selfish, but ultimately, it was the same thing.

...Because she's just shown him what she wants.

He'll force a smile in a moment, do something funny, lighten the mood. But right now, he needs to compose himself too]

[She wants a lot of things, Masaomi. Yes, she wants to be happy. Yes, she would have liked to try dating him. But when it comes down to it, she wants Aang to be okay more than she wants to be happy. And she doesn't just want to date you because she doesn't want any regrets - how is that a chance, how is that fair to anyone, "Aang is my endgame, let me just string you along in the meantime while I get used to that."

She exhales softly when he quotes her and shakes her head. Crying is thirsty work, but you don't drink bending water. She pulls from the sky to create a fist-sized blob of water, leaving it hovering just above her hand. She doesn't need to pull her hand over to take a sip, but she does, to create a sort of shield from his eyes as she sips the water from the air.]

[...Wow, air water. That's amazingly cool. So much so that he blinks and finds himself getting thirsty watching that, and also wonders if it's dirty.

...Probably not]

Give me some too?

Aah - sure. [She lift a hand and pulls a little more - from a little further - and another fist-sized blob of water appears. She floats it over to him.]

[Not sure if he should cup his hands under it or suck it out of the air, he ends up doing a little of both. He cups his hands under it but then leans his face in to slurp it]

[Well, she's not going to let it go, so she holds it there.

Which is a weird feeling when he drinks it, but there you go.]

...all right?

[He forces a smile on his face. Maybe 50% forced, given it's a big grin] As I can be, anyway.

[...ah.]

All right.

Buuuuuut. I have something to show you in the same vein as that!

[And in fact, he leaps to his feet. He wobbles a little after this feat (whoops, but now turns to smile at Linda.]

[Oh, leaping?

Huh. Um.]

Okay?

Linda, show her.

[Linda, who blinks and... oh. She's by the water's edge for a drink, but she knows exactly what Masaomi means. She smiles and waves at Katara before laying her tail down on top of the water. She then lightly charges herself - there's no sparks, but she's ioning the water around her tail, coating it in water. And then in a quick moment after a brief charge she front-flips, curving her tail forward in an arc with a blade of water.

Masaomi turns and bows, which Linda copies when she lands on her feet]

[Did Linda just use a water attack?

Her heart wasn't quite ready for this - it's clear he's trying a diversion before something else, but - wow.]

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