generalflirt | ~♥TWENTY-NINE♥~

~♥TWENTY-NINE♥~

[Masaomi has been dreadfully ill since, well... since about Nagisa's party and going to look for a starfish the night before. Since then, well... he passed out there, barely made it home, and had been nursed ever since. He was slightly delirious though all this, and he relied on Saki to get him through things while working on autopilot. He wasn't able to really move much himself until about the 29th or so. After that you might have seen him going in and out of the kitchen. But had he not seen Saki as much somehow...?

This pattern lasts until he wakes up about three PM on the 3rd. He's finally feeling better, and is able to pick up the journal, flip through things, and then go check on Saki and... she's not there. He searches the apartment, is it just him or is it more empty. Finally, he goes to make a filtered message to her to see if she's around...

And. She's not. The filter breaks.

She's gone.

Gone.

He got back his cell phone a while ago - he hasn't opened it, really, but after Fray gave it back to him the only thing he used it for was that thing with the texts and "Tanaka Taro." But. He flips it open to see Saki's picture in there. His grip tightens. They never even talked and she's gone.. completely gone. He begins to shake. The rage lasts a while and he tries to calm down enough to make a little post saying she's gone. and finally... two hours later, he thinks he is]

[Voice]

Everyone. Ah, I - I... [...No, he can't do it. He can't be calm]

Son of bitch! No! [And then he throws the cell phone clean across the room. It hits the wall with a loud sound - it's not broke, not quite, but the battery pops out of the back and the screen cracks. But who cares. Now, now? His voice is pained beyond anything people have heard in Luceti since about when Mikado was sent home, but this pain is different - Mikado's was cold fury, this one is erratic fury and sorrow and... well yeah]

Why now?! [Voice break] Why- dammit, [He grits his teeth] Dammit!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah. We did. Over and over...

[ ... ]

And eventually... Izumii took Saki.

[...she. doesn't really know what to say to that. He'd told her what happened and it had been hard enough the first time. She doesn't want to make him go through that again.]

Oh.

[What does she say?]

Yeah. That's... That's the story of the Squares and the Scarves. That's it. After she was hurt, I left the Scarves, and Izumii went to jail. That ended the Squares. Both the leaders were gone then. That... that ended it. I was fourteen then. Mikado showed up a year later.

[But there is much left unsaid here. In fact, he mutters "I didn't do nothing" under his breath. As if he meant to say something but then thought better of it]

[She still doesn't know what to say. She just ends up reaching out and tentatively touching his shoulder.

There are some possibilities, some questions she has to ask, but... but first she'll see if he'll have anything else to say. Because. She did catch that muttered undertone.]

[...No. He just breaths in and out. He still needs to explain Dollars, but Dollars is totally different than this. the only way it connects is ... deeply personal. he doesn't know if he can say it]

[He doesn't say anything. She doesn't take her hand off his shoulder just yet either. But she's been thinking, and she's made a few connections already.]

Masaomi. If Izaya was helping you, why are you so set on keeping me away from him?

[He goes rigid. How can he... He...]

[He starts to speak. Then stops. He hangs his head deeper and then-] I... I was an idiot.

Edited 2012-01-05 03:04 (UTC)

[This next voice is very small. Very pained. Very... ashamed]

...When Saki was taken, I called him. Over and over. I called him waiting for his advice. He... he never answered.

[She swallows, sensing she's on a very important precipice. She doesn't want to push too much, but... she thinks this is important for him to say too.]

You weren't an idiot for calling someone for help who was supposed to be helping you.

...but he wasn't really helping you, was he.

[...]

No. [...] Of course he wasn't. I see that now.

[Saki as his "god" ... Nnngh]

[She looks down for a minute before flickering her gaze back up to him.]

Sometimes we only find these things out after it's already too late. I know that you won't believe me if I tell you that it's not your fault, but when someone tricks you, it does make it more their fault than yours.

...did he help them kidnap Saki?

I... [Have a theory but-] I don't know.

Edited 2012-01-05 04:18 (UTC)

[She nods, slowly.]

Okay. [She leaves her hand on his shoulder because... because she thinks he needs the support, even though she's becoming a bit aware of it now.]

But he didn't help you afterwards.

Edited 2012-01-05 04:52 (UTC)

Help-?! He [He begins to shake again, this time for fury. Help. Help?!] No, that slimey bastard just told me what I did wrong. Told me about how much I failed Saki- about ... [Dammit.]

[Katara is starting to get very, very angry. If Izaya ever comes back to Luceti, then he'd better hope they don't run into each other.

She slides her arm around his shoulders and moves a little closer.]

Masamomi, he was wrong to put all the blame on you. And you're wrong if you keep carrying it.

[...Wrong? No. No... even with all the other circumstances] I didn't- [He just said he didn't not do anything. He called Izaya] I couldn't bring myself to step inside.

[Tears are starting to come back into his eyes. And you know what... he just. Leans into her. He knows he's pushing it. But she made an opening and he takes it]

[She leans to the side a little, allowing the contact but keeping it chaste.]

[And that was wrong.] And I'm not going to say that it was all right. But you don't know what would have happened if you'd gone in there. You don't know that you could have done it. Right now, in your world, you told me that in her time you and Saki had worked it out. That you were both alive and all right. For all you know, if you'd managed to go in there you both could be dead.

[She lowers her voice for a moment.] I know what it's like to not do something that you should have done. But if you take all the responsibility for yourself, you're not putting it where it belongs. You didn't kidnap her. You didn't hurt her. That responsibility belongs to someone else.

Izaya is bad. Izumii was evil. But I... I failed her, Katara. I've failed- [other people- ] I can't fail someone again.

[He said into her shoulder. Yeah. Really]

Edited 2012-01-05 05:38 (UTC)

[Yeah. Okay. Him speaking into her shoulder is a little uncomfortable. She shifts backwards, but continues to allow it for now.

She gently brings up her free hand to rest it against his head for a moment. Look up.]

That's not the wrong attitude to have. But you're forgetting something. [She drops her hand back in her lap.]

You're not on your own here. If anything like that ever happens again, you don't have to face it by yourself. You have friends who'll help you. [And a quick flicker of something hard in her eyes.] And your friends aren't taken that easily here either. So don't think you have to put this all on yourself.

[He lingers there, just a moment longer... but he can sense the time is up. He pulls his head back up, mercifully not crying, and shakes his head]

Mm. I know, I'm the weak one here.

That's not what I said at all.

I know. It's just the truth.

No, it's not. Saying that you're not as strong as someone else isn't the same thing as calling yourself weak. There are a lot of people stronger than both of us here, but strength isn't everything in a fight.

I'm not that smart either, Katara. I'm totally outclassed by someone like you or Shikamaru.

[This is... serious. Objective. He's not trying to self-depreciation he just see it as a frustrating fact]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

1/3

2/3

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]

[ action ]