generalflirt | ~♥THIRTY-SIX♥~

~♥THIRTY-SIX♥~

[Voice // Filtered to Katara (mid-morning)]
I think now's enough time, don't you think?

[Action]
[And during the bulk of the day...! Masaomi's forgone most of his training for today other than some things on his wrists. On his left wrist (the one that until very recently was in a cast) has a weighted bracelet on, one kilo. That way, he can work it without switching himself up too much. On his right wrist is still Katara's bracelet. He's also still rocking the Bradstache. BuT more importantly!

...He's here to flirt with girls. He hasn't done it in a while, he's in just the sort of mood where he wants to do it again. So if you're in town and a pretty girl, he's liable to go and flirt with you. If you're a dude, well then you can witness him doing it. React to him, stand there to be reacted to? There's a lot of ways you can roll this]

[Voice // Filtered to Gold and Silver (evening)]
Hey guys, let's go play some Mario Party. [Assumption being he told Shikamaru already]

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[...Backup. What a perfect backup. He lowers his head]

I decided it was time to "talk" to Katara.

[You know, it could just be his experience, but those "talks" he's heard of had a bad tendency to turn into emotional roller coasters with varying results. He prepares for either extreme.]

About the stuff that's been happening...?

About everything.

[He exhales softly, and then says all this in a practiced, quiet, and even tone]

About how she lied to me when she told me we have to be "just friends," about how Aang-kun's ignorant to "her" existence, about how she's a grandmother and how she cares about that family of hers. About this bracelet - [he touches it in spite of himself] and the arm of mine which has been repaired. About her values and her happiness.

[...]

I never knew her mother died.

[His voice as he says this is impassive. But it is betrayed in his eyes. He's terrified at how insensitive he might have been time and time again to have never known that information]

[That was one of the first things he learned about Katara, so it surprises him. Then again, he learned in an odd way...]

That's not something she usually talks about. And for a talk about her "values and happiness", that's a sad topic to come to. [Even if it's the root of who she is.] Were you trying to do for her what you wanted to do for me?

[...The way Shikamaru says that, no. It's a very sad topic. He can't help but wonder when Shikamaru knew. He's the furthest thing from surprised.

Backup.

Masaomi inhales and exhales] No.

[...] Were I more bold, I might have tried to. But she's responsible for elements of your "King," right now. She can't afford to be shattered, even if it might help her.

[Backup. He swallows, and wills himself to be totally honest]

And... I don't want her to hate me.

[There's a seed of something being planted there. It's like he says, Katara can't afford to shatter now, but...

"It's okay not to be okay."]

If Katara had the capacity to hate you, you'd have felt it a year ago. So don't be afraid of that. If fear is holding you back, you shouldn't be meddling at all, you know? It'll cloud your judgement.

[...] She's not like you and me, Shikamaru. Haha, not to say I'm quite like you, but I think you know that I tend to think things through, sometimes too much. If Katara thinks at all, it's with her heart.

[He lowers his eyes, looking down at his hands] And I've broken that heart how many times now? Some for more selfish reasons than others, but ultimately... there's a point where any human has their limits. Even her.

[Ha. Breaking her heart implies there's been a time that Luceti has ever left it whole. But one issue at a time.]

You think you can feel sorry for her by feeling sorry for yourself?

I don't particularly want to feel sorry for her.

[It's both true and not. He's well aware of her suffering. He pities her. But he doesn't want to, he just wants to get her better, whatever it takes. He bites his lip.]

[...] It's what you're doing. And you're still afraid.

[He sighs, and draws his knees up.] As you said yourself: you overthink things. Helping someone through their hurt is hard enough without adding more complications.

At this point, do you think she would've been right to accept your help?

[He smiles sadly at that, not quite looking at Shikamaru. It's possible this is a deflection, but] You know, sometimes I feel like all of you's "right" and "wrong" is a second language to me.

[...he's not taking the bait to that, Masaomi. It's not the same as ignoring it, but elaborate or he's getting back to his point.]

Which is to say, I don't entirely understand it all. Morals, dignity, ideals? All of those things are things I've wanted to have - maybe started to have an inclination of... but if you were to ask me what's "right" and "wrong" on Earth, pretty much all I could tell you is "wrong" from the sense of some vaunted ideal is Izaya-san.

[He laughs here, but there's no mirth in it. He keeps smiling at the horizon as he finishes with-]

But if you want me to read the mood of that conversation? I think she'd call it "wrong."

[Idiot.]

Tell me why you think that.

Well, for one, I vomited.

[That's said in a jovial almost sing song tone]

[That explains why he changed. And shaved, maybe. Additionally it points out just how upset he is, but...

Shikamaru frowns, and puts a hand on his shoulder.]

...She was already walking away then. In truth, I know my timing's bad. I know - but I had to do it now. If even one more person from that future of her's showed up, particularly one of her children, it would be far too late to make her even think about her happiness here. I know I'm not wrong.

[He licks his lips, wrapping his arms around himself] We'd be arguing before then. Probably because I dared to question her responsibility to be a "grandmother..." [and...] ...And I questioned Aang-kun to her, which I'm rapidly realizing is a big red button. [He bites his lip] She told me to go.

...But I knew if I went, I wouldn't be able to come back. People only get one chance to do the "right" thing, right?

No. There's always other opportunities.

[That's probably not something that needed to be said, but if he thinks of his own understanding of such things as that poor, maybe it does.]

But every opportunity has its lesser result, if you don't time it right. In this I can agree with you. Your execution was off, but your reasons for acting were right on.

Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that there aren't unlimited chances.

[He shrugs. ] She actually said that too, ultimately. Because when I didn't go, she told me about her childhood. [...] You know, in retrospect, her execution was surprisingly vindictive. [He says this with an odd sort of awe]

Masaomi, do you want me to do my job or not?

[...Pfft. He laughs at that and looks at his friend's face]

I do, sorry.

No more dodging the subject, then. That's troublesome.

[Every time he's built up to a point, Masaomi runs away from it.]

To get back to what I was saying... when I asked if she would have been right to accept your help the way you offered it.

There's no simple answer to that - for separate reasons, she would've been both right and wrong.

Uh huh...

[He breathes in the warm air and moves his hand off Masaomi's shoulder, dropping it over his knee.]

Right, because you were letting your anxiety rule you. If you can't be honest about your own feelings, you can't handle hers.

What am I not being honest about?

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