generalflirt | Appointments Post ( II )

Entry tags:

*appointments

Appointments Post ( II )

This post here is for personal conversations which should happen but one or both of us doesn't want to put up a new post/log and thus we will just thread it out here. This can be used to thread with Masaomi anytime and anywhere. This can either be in person (with action), or via the journal's call feature (voice and/or written).

When replying to this post please mark in the subject line when and how it is taking place EX:
[Action, March 11th]
[Voice, September 8th]
Written, June 10th]

(Link to old one here)

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[Reflex is to shrug it off and step away - his right foot pivots, in fact, to set off that motion. Because that is what he does when there's too much going on for him to handle.

Or it's what he used to do. He can't live like that forever, can he? Sweeping everything under a rug when it diverges from the norm, cutting his friends out. You can't tell yourself you don't want to act like that, then make no steps to change it.

He ends up staying right where he's at, though he can't make eye contact now. One hand comes out of his pocket to run over his face, and he laughs from under it when it stops over his mouth.]

This isn't fucking fair to him.

Call me crazy, but I tend to focus on how it's unfair to you. [But Shikamaru knows he's biased. Objectively, he knows that it is unfair to Asuma too (actually, probably arguably more) but his loyalty of course is to his friend before his friend's mentor he doesn't know as well]

Crazy.

[Mouth dry, his voice cracks around the word.]

You know it. [And he's going to go in for the hug. You hear it? Hug. So much hug]

[The movement rocks him a little; every muscle in him tense before, but relaxing with the hug now even if he doesn't return it himself, so much as lets it squish him. Everything pent up in him too, until out from the weight of it at last he just sags.]

Come on man, don't get so tense. [Still hugging, but with a relatively direct voice. It's loopy, yes, but it's not outright airy or anything] Even heaven probably has some lame business trips you can't avoid.

[He snorts at that, quietly, more trying to find the humor in it than feeling it himself.]

It's like there's never anything I can do to keep it to just that...

[Asuma could go home again tomorrow, on the whims of the world. Home to die, again.

It could happen several times like that, like how the General hinted it could be for all of them. Living and dying and not remembering any of it.

It's one thing to fail once, but when the opportunity is presented over and over again? That's not uselessness, that's despair.]

How's it more than that now? Ashes to ashes and spirits to spirit.

[HE says this with a lame smile as he takes a step back and keeps a hand on his shoulder]

[Shikamaru gives Masaomi an odd look. How's it not?]

[And he arches and eyebrow back. No, really, how is it?]

[...

He thinks on it more, but it still sounds as harsh and unforgiving to his teacher as it did the first time he ran it through his head. He sounds resigned.]

It's going to happen again.

Noooot following?

He's going to leave. [Die.] Maybe before I do, maybe not until after. Again... And again. Until this planet stops.

[...Pfft. Okay, he can't help it. He knows it's totally inappropriate timing. He knows that it is something Shikamaru feels deeply about. It's something he does sympathize with to some extent. No, to a decent extent. But right now, it just seems like a farce. He snorts a little, and spreads a silly little smile on his face]

Yeah, the guy gets some borrowed time. Guess he did his taxes well.

[In a rush, he feels angry. In the next, so drained.

It's all useless. He takes a step backwards and turns. Masaomi is Masaomi, and Shikamaru never got to explaining what bothered him most on that mission.]

I'm going for a walk.

Edited 2013-03-31 06:21 (UTC)

Yeah... Later. [He's not sure what to say to that. Or... what to do with the silence then. He just lets him go for now, frowning to himself]

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Appointments Post ( II )

[Action, March 10]

[Action, March 10]

[Action, March 10]

[Action, March 10]

[Action, March 10]

[Action, March 10]

[Action, March 10]

[Action, March 10]

[Action, March 10]

[Action, March 10]

[Action, March 10]

[Action, March 10]

[Action, March 10]

[Action, March 10]

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